James Potter's Invincible Way to Win Lily's Heart
by Jive22
Summary: James is on a mission! And that mission is..to win Lily's heart using as many cheesy pick-up lines he can think of!
1. Chapter 1

**Haha. I swear someday I will finish stories I write, but I was bored, and this seemed like a good idea at the time. **

**So hear goes:**

**James Potter's invincible way to Lily's Heart**

**XOXOOXOXOOX XOXOXOX XO X XOXOXOX OXXO XO XO XXXOXXOXOXOX XOXOX X OX OX XOXOXXOOOXOX XOOXXOX OXO**

It was a regular old day for the Hogwarts group of Gryffindor's, who nicknamed themselves marauders, Wormtail was sleeping/eating in his food, Padfoot was muttering about jam while drooling in his wake, Moony was eating his caramel apple meticulously, and Prongs was on the lookout for his Lily-Flower.

Prongs wasn't disappointed, for just that moment, his true-love fellow sixth year Gryffindor came walking into the great hall. She sat down across from Moony and started buttering her toast.

"Hey, Lily."

"What Potter?"

"I think you dropped something."

Lily started looking around frantically, while her mind reeled of stuff she may have dropped. "What and where did I drop something, Potter?"

"Over there, my Lily-Pretty!"

"Potter, stop with those cheesy nicknames! Now, what did I drop, I still don't see anything."

"Over there when you first walked in the hall!"

"POTTER! There is nothing over there!" Lily screeched in annoyance.

"YES! Yes, there is!" James firmly stated back. Lily rolled her eyes at the stubborn prat.

"So pray tell, what did I drop?" Lily finally asked to humour herself.

"You dropped my jaw, when you walked in the room." James casually commented. All of the Marauders broke out into tears of laughter, Wormtail got food all over his face, even more so, he snorted into his mashed potatoes….and it went up his nose….Moony grimaced.

"Potter, you are an egotistical prat, you know that right?" Lilly spoke in a bored tone. Prong's face immediately lit up.

"You didn't yell at me!" Prong's exclaimed in pure glee.

"That's because I am to effing tired you dolt." Lily snapped back.

"Oh. That sucks." Prong's quietly said.

A few more minutes passed in silence as everyone started eating, and more kids started filling in the great hall. The awkward silence at the 6th year Gryffindor table was suffocating.

Breaking the silence, Prongs thought of the perfect thing to say to Lily.

"Lily, you remind me of a pop tart." Padfoot, Wormtail, and Moony broke out into hysterics. Wormtail snorted up some taters again, Padfoot fell of the bench backwards, and Moony stopped snickering for three seconds to raise an eyebrow at the goons sitting next to him.

"Prongs, you do know, that probably wasn't the best thing to say…" Moony pointed out to Prongs while gesturing to Lily. Lily was slowly getting the angry red color to her face.

"James, why in the bloody Hell do I remind you of an effing pop tart?" Lily angrily calmly stated.

James squirmed a little under her harsh glare and meekly said, "You're cool cuz your hot?"

"Prongs, I think you just signed you ticket to death." Padfoot said between is guffaws.

Thinking he had nothing left to lose, Prongs tried another one, "DAMNIT! You are a parking ticket aren't you?" Lily flashed a look of confusion across her face at the sudden change of topics.

"Ok… first of all, how do you know what a parking ticket is? And second of all, why are you calling me one?"

"Erm…. A Marauder never tells the secrets of his trade!" Prongs proclaimed victoriously, which sent the rest of the Marauders into rounds of laughter again. Lily raised an eyebrow curiously. "I thought you were a parking ticket, for you got 'fine' written all over you."

"OH. MY. GOD! POTTER! YOU EGOTISTICAL PRAT!"

XOXOXOX XOXOXOOXX OXOXOXOXOXOXOXXO XOXOXOXOXOXOX XOOXXOXOXO XOXOXOXOX XOXOXOXOXXO XOXOXOXXO XOXX

**Well, what yall think of the story? Each chapter isn't gonna be the same length like I try to make with some of my other stories. Its gonna vary, it all depends on how funny I feel that day.**

**Please READ AND REVIEW! Reviews make me smile, and I like smiling! :D**

**Later, **

**Jive22**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hmm, I was like, seriously disappointed with the lack of reviews. But, I guess it's understandable…. I rarely review stories I read myself…**

**BUT, anything would be great, constructive criticism, flames, nice reviews, whatever. I am one of those insane people who starts doing cheers as soon as I see a review.**

**Without further ado, another chapter of this story **

**XOXOX XOXOXOXOXOX XOOXXOOXOXO XOXOXOXOXO XOXOOXOXOX XXOXOOXXOOXX XOXOXOXXOOXXOX XOXOXOXO**

Prongs was walking down a corridor by himself to charms class. His friends all had Care of Magical Creatures instead, except for Lily, but she wasn't going to walk with him. His mind was reeling with some good pranks to play on some Slytherins. When all of a sudden he saw a head full of gorgeous red hair walk past him.

"Hey Lily!" Prongs yelled out to stop her in her tracks. She huffed and turned around.

"Well, since you didn't use a ridiculous nickname this time, I guess I will humour you. What do you want?" Lily sighed in annoyance. Prongs let a smile light up his face.

"Do you believe in love at first sight-"

Cutting him off Lily said, "James, I am not talking about love with you, so bugger off."

"Well, just so you should know, I was asking you if you believed in love at first sight, or should I walk past you again?" Prongs was in no way, shape, or form ready to avoid the hex that Lily sent him.

Prongs grimaced as his feet started making him dance; he quickly cast the counter-curse, fell down on the floor in the process, and smiled at Lily.

"Hey Lily," Prongs said softly, "Is your dad an alien?" Lily made a gun out of her hand and shot herself in the head, sat down next to Prongs on the floor, and sighed.

"Why are you asking me if my dad is an alien?" Lily said after a moment, "Better yet, why are you using a bunch of cheesy pick-up lines on me?"

"Because I would be a fool not to try using pick-up lines on an angel like you. I asked if you dad was an alien, because, DAMN, girl, you are out of this world!" Prongs grinned cheekily when Lily snorted.

"Is that seriously the best you can do?" Lily asked him. Prongs raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Is that a challenge?" He said with a small smirk on his face and humour tainting his voice.

"Do you want to make it a challenge?" She smirked right back. They sat for a second smirking at each other.

"You bet I do." Prongs said in a definitive voice. Lily grinned.

"Fine, if you actually manage to make a good, nice pick-up line, I will go on one date with you." Prongs smile reached all corners of his face; it kind of made him look constipated.

"Alright, my lips are skittles, wanna taste the rainbow?" Lily grimaced.

"I said nice Potter. That wasn't nice." Lily condescendingly reprimanded him.

"I thought it was nice, compared to some of the lines I had running through my head." Prongs stated confused. Lily rolled her eyes.

"You really suck at helping you case, you know that don't you?" Prongs grimaced.

" You have reminded me of that fact more than enough times, I assure you." Lily laughed.

"I suppose I have." Lily happened to glance down at her watch, jumped up, "James, we are gonna be late for class, come on!" They took off running.

"Hey Lily, my magic watch says you don't have any underwear on!" James exclaimed as they ran through the halls trying to not be late for Charms.

Lily yelled back, "Sorry to disappoint you, but I do have underwear on!"

"DAMNIT! It must be 15 minutes fast!" James yelled back holding back a laugh as they ran past Slughorn, who looked deeply disgusted by the use of words of Prongs.

"POTTER! I SAID NICE LINES!" James grinned a big Cheshire cat grin.

"I THOUGHT THE IDEA OF YOU WITHOUT UNDERWEAR WAS A NICE LINE!" Lily looked ready to curse him when he yelled that has they opened the door to the charms class, right when it started. Everyone looked over at them bemusedly has Lily kept making strangling motions at Prongs.

"Well, that was an interesting start to the class." Flitwick grinned at the two and started the class.

**XO OXOXOXOXOXO XOXOXOXOX XOXOXOXO XOXOXOX XOXOXOXO XOXOXOXOX XOXOXOXOXOX OX**

**REVIEW! Cuz….cuz….I am giving people who review, the best virtual chocolate chip cookies in the world! **

**Toodles,**

**Jive22**


	3. Chapter 3

**Blah…my mum's cooking SUCKS! And so does mine…but that's besides the point…at least I know my cooking is shite…**

**I enjoy writing this story…so…I am updating! Again! Yay me! :p**

**XOXOXOXOXOOX XOXOOOXOXO XOXOXOXOX XOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXX XOX XOXOXOOXOXO X OX X XOXOXOXOXOXOX XOOXOXOX **

"You are a big-headed egotistical prat, you know that right?" Lily huffed in annoyance.

"Yeah, I do, and you should expect anything less." Prongs smirked and flicked Lily on the nose.

"OWW! What was that for?" Lily schreeched.

"That was for being repetitive." Prongs laughed as Lily glared at him.

"You only make the situation worse. Idiot." Prongs laughed and flicked her on the nose again. Lily rolled her eyes and muttered, "Prat."

"MR. POTTER! You do not flick innocent young women on the nose in this library!" Madam Pince scolded a blushing Prongs.

"Well I guess it's a good thing I have a library card." Prongs stated Madam Pince let a confused look flicker across her face, before she went behind her usual mask.

"We do not have library cards here Potter." She stated.

"I guess it's a good thing I have my muggle library card." James corrected himself.

"Why is it a good thing if you have a muggle library card in a wizarding library?"

Prongs smirked and stated seriously, "Because I am totally checking you out!" Madam Pince fainted in surprise. Lily giggled madly at the sight.

"Oh. My. I cannot believe that you just said that." Lily said in between her giggles and glanced at Pince's unmoving body superstitiously. "We should totally do something embarrassing to her!"

Prongs laughed, "What's this I hear? The 'I-am-the-girl-who-hasn't-broken-a-rule' Proposing we break a rule?"

Lily smirked, "You betcha! Come on, let's give her a weird hair color!"

Prongs getting into the excitement exclaimed, "How about rainbow Zebra stripes?"

Lily laughed; it was too perfect, "Let's do it."

"Well that is something I have never expected you to say to me." Prongs said laughing as Lily blushed, huffed, and rolled her eyes.

"Prat."

XO XOXOXOXOX OOXOX O XOXO XOXO XOXOXOXOX XOXOXOXOX OXOXOXXOOXOX XOXOXOXOXOXOXX XOOXXOXOXOXOX OXOX XOXOXOX

Still giggling like mad, Prongs and Lily ran to the Gryffindor Dormitories away from Madam Pince. As they walked in, James started again, but this time Lily was the object of his affections, NOT Madam Pince.

"Lily, if I had a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have 5 cents." Lily stopped in mid-step.

"Hey, James actually managed a nice pick-up line!" Lily turned around and looked at him in surprise. Prongs face lit up like a firework.

"Soooo, does that mean I get a date with you?" He asked hopefully. Lily laughed raucously and shook her head.

"Nope, while it was nice, it wasn't very good or funny." Prongs looked crestfallen.

"Ah. Damn."

XOXOXOXOXX XOXOXOXXO XOXOXOXXOXOX XOXOXOXOX XOXOXOXOX XOXOX XOXOX XOXOXOXOX XXOXOXOXO

Prongs woke up the next morning, got dressed, and walked down the stairs, to see his favorite red head sitting on the couch in the common room.

He walked over to her and sat down, "Do I know you? You look a lot alike my future girlfriend?" Lily smirked.

"Well, I am going to say you look an awful lot like the next guy I am going to reject." James grimaced as Lily laughed at him.

"That was mean."

"But it was truuuuue!"

"Maybe so, it was still mean." Lily just laughed at James's stubbornness. They both stood up and walked down to breakfast in silence.

"Do your legs hurt from running through my thoughts all day and night?" Prongs asked hopefully.

"Does your brain hurt from being so stupid?"

"Touché."

XOXOXOXOXOX XOXOXOXOXO XOXOXOXOX XOXOXOX XXOXOXO XXOXOX XOXOXOXOX XOXOXOXO XOXOXOXX XOXOXO XXOOXOX XOXOXO

**Well, I personally liked this chapter best, I think its because of the whole Madam Pince thing…**

**REVIEW! My two reviewers more than made my day! **** thx guys.**

**Cheerio! **

**Jive22**


	4. Chapter 4

**Another day. Blah….**

**XOXOXOXOXO XOXOXOOXXOOXOX XOXOXOXOX XXOXOXOOXOXOX XOXOXOXO XOXOXOX X**

"So, I sidled up to her and said, 'Do you want to play carpenter? First we'll get hammered and then I'll nail you!" Padfoot was telling the rest of the Marauders who were listening intently to him.

"So what she say to that?" Wormtail asked quietly.

"Sure that sounds great! After that, I will saw your stick off, I am afraid creatures don't need vestigial structures." Sirius had a confused look on, "I still don't know what the fuck a vestigial structure IS. So I just left." All the marauders turned to look at Lily who was laughing so hard that even her KNUCKLES were red from laugh of breath.

"I'd say SHE knows what a vestigial structure is." Wormtail pointed out uselessly.

"We'd had figured that much." Moody said kindly, "Hey Lily, what is a vestigial structure?" He asked her.

"A vestigial structure is a muggle term for a part of your body, which is basically useless; it no longer does its original job. Forgive me, I can't remember the exact definition, it HAS been along time since I have been in Muggle world." They all looked deep in thought at her explanation.

"So you mean to say, that she called my…thing…useless and that it doesn't do what it is supposed to do?" Lily looked ready to laugh at Padfoot's absolute expression of horror. "Lily actually doesn't know what she is talking about! What has this world come to?" Padfoot exclaimed dramatically.

"Padfoot, you would rather say, that LILY, doesn't know what she is talking about, then accepting the fact that you got BURNED?" Moody questioned between his laughs.

"Yup."

"You are messed up mate." Prongs friendly said.

"Yup."

XOXOXOXOXO XOXOXOXOXOXOX XOXOXOXOXOX XOXOXOXO XOXOXOXX XXOXOX X XXOXOXOX XOXOXOXOX OXXOXOXO

"_DUDE! Arithmetic is sooo boring. Hey Prongs, you want me to do something funny?"_ Padfoot sent to Prongs Via note.

"_Sure dude, knock yourself out."_ Prongs set back.

Padfoot stood up loudly, attracting the attention of everyone in the class, including the pretty Professor Jecks.

"Mr. Black, is there a problem?" She asked.

"Yeah. This math is boring."

"So what do propose you do?"

"Well, my ideas of math probably differs from yours, so, do you want to do my version of math?" Sirius mumbled out.

"What is your version of math?

"Let's add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs, and multiply!" Padfoot exclaimed joyously.

"So you mean to say, that sex is your version of math?"

"Yup."

"To be truthful with you, I don't see how sex with you could be any less boring than this math." Padfoot flushed bright red (something he rarely did) and sat back down ignoring the loud laughter of everyone around him.

He felt a note hit him in the back of the head. He opened up and read. _"Hey, Padfoot! Good job! That was really entertaining!"_ He huffed and wrote out a reply.

Prongs soon felt a not hit him in his face.

It read, "_Shut up."_

XOXOX XOXOXX OXOXOXOXOX OXOXXX OXOXX XOXOX XXOX XXOXOXO XXX XOXXOXOOX XXOXOXOXX OXOOXOX

After dinner that day, Prongs walked into the common room and sat down. He soon felt a weight sit on the other side of the couch. He looked up and saw Lily. They smiled at each other.

"Hey Lily, what has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible Hulk?"

"Umm, a dragon?" She guessed not really paying attention.

"Nope, my zipper!" He gestured to his jeans. Lily burst out laughing.

"Sorry, I don't go for guys with green dicks." Prongs flushed red, obviously not expecting a comeback.

"Ouch Lily, you wound my pride."

"You actually have pride left after that BURN!" Sirius exclaimed as he and the rest of the marauders walked in.

"The same goes for you MR. BORING!" James yelled back, Sirius winced, and the Moony, Lily, and Wormtail giggled like mad.

"Hey look! Its Jill! Hey Jill!" Sirius yelled as he caught sight of her, thinking that she would be the perfect distraction for the other guys not to laugh at him. She sighed and stopped.

"What Black?" She spat out with as much disdain as possible.

"There are 206 bones in the human body, would you like another one?" Sirius said in his totally beast silky voice.

"There are 45 pressure points on the human body that causes paralysis when pressed, would you like me to touch one?" She asked sweetly and internally laughed at Padfoot's horrified expression. "Oh, by the way, Lily's definition is correct, and I do not date boring people." Padfoots expression went for horrified to pathetic. Lily was right. Jill had called his part pathetically useless.

He walked back to where all of his friends were sitting quietly and raised an eyebrow at them. They promptly cackled like madmen.

"That's what I thought." He muttered and sat down.

"Wow. Two big burns in one day. That has to be a record for you, and you even got burned epically by a teacher." Prongs pointed out in mirth, Padfoot scowled at him.

"It's called an off day!"

"Sure Padfoot, think what you want, but we all know your hair just looks really bad today, and you just can't get chicks without your hair." Moody Joined Prongs in jesting Padfoot. Sirius's hands went immeadiatly up to his hair, and he took off running to the dorms.

"THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY HAIR! LIARS!" His yell could be heard throughout the castle.

XOXOO XOXOXOXO XXOOXXOOX XOXOXOXOX XOOXOXOOX XOXOXOXO XOXOX XOXXOXO XOXOXOX XOXOXOX XOXOXOX OX

**I felt like picking on Sirius a little bit in this chapter, so enjoy it.**

**REVIEW!**

**Later,**

**Jive22**


	5. Chapter 5

"So apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?" Sirius flirtatiously winked at Jill who was pointedly ignoring anything Sirius said up to that point.

With a grinned, she turned toward him and flirted right back, "I am a female impersonator, but I can ditch my disguise and we can go have hot gay sex!" She said in a completely serious voice.

"Jill, that is the best Idea you have ever had."

"Before we go, don't call me Jill, my name is James."

The-"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" James woke up with fright.

"Wheres the fire?" Moony jumped up said immediately with his wand in one hand. He stood on top of his bed in his boxes, papers and books went flying, and Moony was in a bloodshot-eye battle stance. Wormtail kept on snoring. Padfoot woke up, only because his body moved an inch without his mind, and knocked him off his bed.

"Whatzz goINGGG OONnnsss?" He mumbled in his state of drowsiness as he lay face down on the floor. Seeing that they weren't under a direct threat of death, Moony lowered his wand.

"That was the single most worst dream I have ever had!" Prongs exclaimed before adding on another sentence on, "Before any of you ask, I do not want to share details of it."

"That is great, next time, try not to wake us up, I need my beauty sleep." Sirius said as he stroked his hair preciously.

"Padfoot, that's great, but your beauty sleep was going to end soon, it was time to get up anyway." Moony pointed out.

"Blah, whatever." Padfoot whined as he grudgingly got up and dressed.

As the three boys were ready to leave, they suddenly remembered Peter. They walked over to his bed.

"Do we wake him?" Prongs asked no one in particular.

"NO! The last time we did he kicked me…it hurt my tummy." Padfoot exclaimed while rubbing his sore spot on his tubby with his left hand.

"Nah, he looks so cute when he sleeps, kind of like that cute little mouse Jerry from that muggle show Tom and Jerry." Moony as if Wormtail was a baby. Padfoot and Prongs raised an eyebrow at him. "WHAT! He really does!" Moony shouted out indignantly. The other two just laughed at him and started walking out of the room. "He really is cute when he sleeps. Just saying." He muttered again as he followed a few feet behind them.

XOXOXOXOX XOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOX XOXOXOX XOXOXOX OXXOXO XOXOXOXOXOX OXOXX OXOXOOXOX

The Marauders all sat down for breakfast, next to Lily and Jill. Padfoot looked over Jill, her tall framed body, long blond hair, ice blue eyes, and pale skin, and wolf-whistled appreciatively. Jill shot him a dark glare.

All of a sudden, Prongs dropped his pumpkin juice glass to the ground, and was staring straight at Lily, ignoring all the stares that the movement had attracted.

He looked from the floor to his hand and then to Lily and said, "You owe me a pumpkin juice." He spoke in a love and awed filled voice with no traces of humour evident. She looked at him curiously.

"Why do I owe you a drink that you so clearly dropped?" Lily asked with a trace of disdain and amusement laced in her voice.

"Because, when I saw your beautiful face, I am afraid I dropped my drink." Prongs was as serious looking as he could manage. Lily smiled.

"I guess I will buy you one when we go to Hogsmeade." She grinned cockily when she saw James's jaw drop, his eyes light up, and started laughing as he started gesturing crazily with his hands while trying to form a sentence.

"Yo-Bu-Wa-Ar-Don-B-Kid-Yo-Dat-Me?" James finally stopped stuttering when he noticed all of his friends(and Lily's) were laughing at him. He gave a cough and sat up straight.

"Oh by the way, you better be able to speak for our date, I do wish to have a conversation." With that said, she and Jill got up to go to class.

XOXOX OXOXOXOXOX XOXOXOXO XOXOXOXOX OXOXOX XOOXOXOXXOXOXOX OXOXOXOX XOXOXO XOX XOXOX

"BLOODY HELL! I can't believe you said to him that you would go out with him! It was soooo funny to watch him try a line on you, and then you go and turned it around to slap him in the face with it!" Jill was a little hyper at the moment.

"Look, I have maybe liked him for a long period of time, a lot more than I let on." Lily said and trailed off.

"WHAT!" Her friend angrily bellowed.

"Okay, It is like you and Sirius, you both totally obviously like each other, but when he asked you out that first time, he was such and arrogant ass, you rejected him. He was offended, so started finding even MORE obscene ways to ask you out, which only grows you hate for him, but deep down you really love him. That was how it was like for me and James." Lily explained to her good friend, who found herself nodding rapidly with her, until her nod stopped in mid-nod.

"whoah, did you say that Sirius and are totally obviously in love with each other?" Jill asked Lily furiously.

Lily smirked and nodded, "Well, that is, it is totally obvious to everyone, but yourselves, well, but you, I think Sirius has totally realized that and his head over heels for you."

"Yeah, well I think it is totally obvious to everyone else, but YOU, that you are completely barmy." Jill bitterly shot back.

Lily cackled madly, "you bet your ass I am."

XOXOX XOXOXOXO XOXOXO XOXOX XOXOX XOXXO XXOXO XOXOX XOXXO XOOXXO XXOX XOX XOXOXOXOXOX XOXOXO XOXO

**This chapter wasn't very funny….hmmm. It was a little less randomness talk as it was a brief look into an early morning of their lives…but whatever.**

**Review please. All my three reviewers have been totally epic.**

**P.s. I totally love Lil'Wayne**

**Later, **

**Jive22**


	6. Chapter 6

**Kay. I have more of an idea about where this stories going, thanks to my reviewers. This story going till they die, I now have Harry potter pick lines (courtesy of misszsalvatore101) thanks!), and I am going to make the chapters longer…yay...-grumbles- I am going to try to make 3000 words, but if I can't I will settle for 2000, I am afraid I have the attention span of a goldfish….so writing long is hard for me..**

**Special thanks to RippedNotes for getting friends to read and review my story ****, that was totally epic. And special thanks to misszsalvatore101 who totally made this chapter possible by sharing the Harry Potter pick up lines. That was pretty beast. And special thanks to 98, those conversations about short people, are just entertaining. **

**XOXOX XOOXOXOX XOXOXO XXOOXOX XOXOOXX XOXOXOX XOXOXOX XOXOXX XOXOXOXOX XOXOXOOX XOXOXO**

Lily stood facing her mirror, trying on different scarves, trying to see the best match. She wore her best pair of worn out addidas sneakers, A nice pair of relaxed jeans of light color, and a totally preppy green and grey sweater. She just couldn't decided on the scarf. Grey or green? Simple question, hard answer.

She finally choose the green scarf thinking that it matched her eyes better.

She walked down the stairs and in to the common room where James was waiting for her and Jill was arguing with Sirius.

James wore a light colored jeans with sneakers and a green long collared tee. His hair was still in his ever famous windswept look.

"NINJAS WOULD SO KICK A PIRATES ASS!" Sirius bellowed at Jill, whose eyebrow started twitching rapidly. James and Lily looked over at them bemusedly.

"I am going to take a wild guess here and say they are arguing about who is better Pirate vs Ninja." Lily stated. James smiled and nodded.

"NINJAS COULD ONLY WIN IF THEY STABBED THE PIRATE IN THEIR SLEEP. IF NINJAS ACTUALLY CAME OUT LIKE A MAN AND FOUGHT, THEY WOULD SO BE DEAD!" Jill bellowed back. Sirius looked stumped.

"Interested in making some magic together? My wand is at the ready." He finally said. Jill looked confused at the sudden change of subjects before rolling her eyes.

"Do you just say the first pickup line that comes to your head whenever your bored?"

"Err, yup?"

"Alright. Do you want to make sandwiches? My fist is at the ready."

"Okay. Got that message loud and clear." Sirius stated nervously. Jill had a mean left hook.

"Seriously? Finally, been waiting 6 years for you to get a message clearly." Jill spat. She left the common room soon afterwards.

"Hey Padfoot, you'll get her soon." James said when he noticed Padfoot looked a little down.

"Trust me, whether she admits it or not, she is totally in love with you." Lily added. Sirius's downcast expression lifted just a tinge. "But, you are asking her out in the wrong way…try being romantic for once…" Sirius starlted.

"But Prongs got you this way!" He exclaimed, "Why won't it work for me?" Lily laughed.

"Because, we had a …deal…inside joke if you may." Lily said after pondereing for a moment. Prongs nodded his head in agreement.

"Oh. Jill and I don't have that." He stated again. Then he too, walked out of the common room.

"Well, I do owe you a butterbeer I believe." Lily suggested.

Picking up on the hint James said, "Why yes, I do believe you do, may we proceed to Hogsmead?" He used his best chivalrous knight voice. Just for giggles.

Lily laughed and stood up with James, and grabbed the arm he held out for her.

"Lily, You know I am your knight in shining armour right?" James curiously asked.

"You are? Damnit. I want a refund!" She teasingly demanded and broke down laughing at James's appalled face. Once he realized she was joking, he started laughing to.

"Hmm, here's another line for you." James stated as they got into the carriage that went to hogsmeade. "If you were a Dementor, I'd become a criminal just to get your kiss."

"Erm, I guess it is a good thing I don't want to be a dementor. That I am not a dementor." Lily said speculatively.

"So you mean you have no desire to kiss me?" James asked astonished. Lily laughed.

"Did I say that? No, I said it is a good thing that I am not a dementor, I don't doubt that you would do something to get a kiss from me, but then you would die without a soul. I don't want that." Lily softly stated. Prongs just sat there dumbfounded…a little unsure about what Lily was talking about…but dumbfounded seemed a good thing to do.

The carriage stopped and the duo exited the carriage.

"So where do you want to go?" Lily asked James.

"Do you want to go to the shrieking shack? We could do some shrieking of our own." Prongs said while waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Umm, has much fun as that sounds, I am going to have to take a rain check on that one, gosh you sound so much like Sirius using that line."

MEANWHILE…

Sirius was stalking Jill, unbeknownst to her, waiting for the perfect moment to stri- well for the perfect moment to say his romantic stuff.

He saw her sit down on a bench lean back and close her eyes peacefully. He quickly walked to the bench and sat down next to her. She kept her eyes closed but he could tell she noticed there was someone next to her.

"I was going to say you could have the portkey to my heart, but then I realized you already had it. All you have to do is say the keyword, and you will be right there." He softly whispered. She opened her eyes and slowly searched his face looking for traces deception.

"My god. It is like you and James switched places. Mr. Romantic. Alright, I will bite. So, what might this keyword be?" Jill asked as the curious person she is.

"Mortals," Sirius informed Jill, who raised her eyebrow. "I don't know, most Portkey passwords are random, so I had to have a random password!" He said in his defense.

"But a portkey to your heart wouldn't be like most portkeys in the first place. You better make up some darn good B.S about why your password is mortals." She informed him with fake sweetness.

Padfoot thought for a moment. "Because, I am telling you we are mortals, we only have this one short life, but I can gurantee you happiness how everlasting it may be in that short time we call life." Jill jaw dropped, intelligent AND romantic? This was not Sirius.

"Alright. Who the hell are you and what the hell did you do with Sirius?" Jill said in a steely voice while raising her wand and the so called impostor.

"It really is me!" Sirius pleaded with her, Jill wouldn't have it.

"I don't believe you!" She cried out as if she was facing her worst fears.

"Fine, I see you aren't going to believe me, but come up to me any day and say that word. I will know what you are talking about." Sirius angrily told her. His anger was replacing his hurt.

"Then I will avoid you forever, for you are not Sirius Black." She spat at him with as much disdain as she could muster. Sirius took one look in her eyes and saw the firm resolve that they held and walked away a defeated man.

Jill walked away from the bench and her eyes caught sight of a hot seventh year ravenclaw. She sidled up to him.

"Do I know you?" She asked him politely, he turned to her and looked her over once with his hazel eyes.

"No, I do not believe so." His thick Scottish accent was comforting, Jill thought.

"Ah, that's a shame, I'd sure like to." He laughed.

"I guess I better agree to the pretty woman wishes." He smiled and winked at her. "My name is Connor Wood, you may call me Con though, everyone does."

"Oh, aren't you Ravenclaws keeper?" Jill asked.

"I would like to think that I am the guy all the girls think that I am the best catch of the guys in my house, but no…" he trailed off and started laughing, Jill started laughing to.

"Aren't you a funny one. I meant quidditch."

"I know you did, and I like to think I am funny, but you are the only one that ever laughs at any of my jokes." He smiled at her appreciatively, Jill looked him over once again, totally gorgeous short brown hair, tan skin, totally muscled, hazel eyes, yup he was Ravenclaw's keeper. Both ways apparently.

They spent the rest of the day together just talking.

XOXOXOO XXOXOXOX XOXOXOXO XXOXOOXX XOOXXOOX XOXOXOXOOX XOXOXOXO XOX XOOXOX X  
"Hey Lily." James called over to the girl who was admiring the nature around the shrieking shack.

"what?" She asked as she walked over to him.

"I bet I could kiss on the lips without touching you." Prongs said with such conviction, Lily almost thought he could.

"Umm, I bet you can't?" She said uncertainly, after all, this was a world of magic.

"Just close your eyes." He whispered, and she did without a second thought. Lily felt his lips softly brush against hers. She kept her eyes closed, but she could see his soft smile as he pulled back.

"Damn, Lost that bet." James said without a hint of remorse. Lily opened her eyes and laughed at the deliriously happy looking guy. She slapped him on the chest.

"Egotistical bigheaded prat."

"THAT'S ME!" Prongs exclaimed psychotically.

"Oh. My. What did I get myself into…" Lily pondered aloud while shaking her head back and forth. Never date a marauder. That is a lesson learned.

XOXOOX OXOXXOXOX XOXOXOOXX XOXOXOOX XOXOXOX OXOX XOXOXOXOX XOXOXO XOXOXO XOX XXOXOXOX XOXOX XOXOXO XOXOX XOXO XX

After the weirdish Hogsmeade weekend everyone slept through Sunday and awoke on Monday to go to classes again. Unfortunately it was required that you go to most classes.

Jill walked by herself to ancient runes, Sirius had this class with her, but he fortunately doesn't talk to her anymore vice-versa. So it was just her.

She walked in and sat her books down at a random desk. She tuned out Professor Wiltshire, he was totally boring, and started daydreaming about her latest find, Con Wood.

Soon she heard something that knocked out of la-la land.

"For this next project, I am bringing in one of my seventh years class and partnering you 6th yr and 7th yr respectively. I want you to work on this project together, and get to know people outside of your year." Professor walked to his office and opened the door and the seventh years piled out. "Alright I will give everyone five minutes to partner up!" Professor Wiltshire fled the class through his still open office door and slammed it shut behind him.

Her eyes scanned the seventh years seeing if there was anyone worthy of being her partner, and they landed on Connor. She flagged him down. He glided over gracefully and gave her a great grin.

"Ever eager to see me again, eh?" He pointed out teasingly.

"Yup. Now let's work on this dreaded project." Without a look to confirm it, Jill already knew who Sirius's partner was, the seventh year he had dated on and off since forever. Not that she cared.

XOXOXOX XOXOXOX XOXOXOX XOOXX XOXOXOX XOXOX XOXOXOX XOXOX XOXOXOXO XXOXOXOXOXO XOXOXX XOXO

James and Lily were sitting next to each other during charms, each practicing charms of cleaning nature. It was seriously dull. Who in the bloody hell needed a charm to clean the bark on a tree….?

"Lily, we are only supposed to be using the nature charms!" James exclaimed exasperatedly.

"James, what in the bloody hell are you talking about, I am only using those spells!" She exclaimed back just as exasperated.

"I am just going to ask you. Are you using a confundus charm? Or are you just naturally mind-blowing?" Lily took one look at him and started laughing eccentrically. She eventually started to tear up a little, she was laughing so much.

"I thought we were over that stage of using pickup lines every other second." Lily questioned curiously after a few minutes, James looked aghast.

"NEVER! I love the lines! It is a story for the grandkids, its like our little thing! I like the fun little thing!" He exclaimed rather loudly, the whole class went silent and looked at him oddly, Lily facepalmed, James probably had NO idea how weird that just sounded.

"Alright okay, shut up, I get it, you like using the lines, even if it is just for fun." Lily smiled sweetly.

"Yup. Hey Lily, are you from Tennessee?" James asked her…obviously…

"Noooo…..why?"

"Because, you are the only Ten I see."

"Haha, and I see a loserific one that can't get none." Lily said teasingly.

James grimaced. "You know recent studies say that girlfriends are supposed to be good for their guys ego, not constantly battering it at every turn…" Lily snorted.

"Please. You have enough ego to turn into food and feed the whole world for seven years." Lily said sarcastically. James just looked at her bemusedly.

"Food, ego, and world, that's a comeback."

XOXOX XOXOX OXOX XOXOX XOXOXOXXXOXO XOX XOX XOXOX XX X OXOOXX XOXOX XOXOX XOX XXOX XOXOX XXOX OX

**I feel that each chapter I write slowly gets less and less funny….I didn't laugh at all while writing this…hmm…. I wrote 2,138 words! 1000 more than my last chapter…**

**You better be happy. :p**

**Cheerio,**

**Jive22**


	7. Chapter 7

Sirius scowled deeply at Jill and Wood. Apparently she fell for him. She fell for him hard. Seriously, they were engaged now. Their parents caught wind of their relationship, talked, then drew up a contract that all parties agreed to. Now, they couldn't be separated. Jill had completely forgotten about Sirius. That's the part that hurt the most. Sirius felt as if he was dying without his or Jill's heart. Jill was faring more then fine.

It was then Sirius realized that they were never meant to be. But it was also then that Sirius never wanted to love again if he couldn't love her.

So Sirius never would love another.

Of course, Sirius was highly smashed at the Gryffindor party at the moment. So he really shouldn't make such life altering decisions at the moment. It didn't really matter though. He had already made up his mind and if there was something Sirius was, it was stubborn. He couldn't help but glare darkly at any happy couple who happened upon his line of sight. The worst was Lily and James. That was supposed to be him and Jill. He stared off sullenly into the fire, ignoring the entire hubbub around him. He took another swig of his Firewhiskey.

"James! Oh you must stop! You are so drunk!" Lily swatted at James who kept trying to grope his rather irate girlfriend.

"I swear to drunk I'm not god!" James smiled and ceased his actions slightly.

"Good, I know that, but I was starting to think other people didn't…OH MY GOD! JAMES!" She screeched as he started tracing figures on her legs, she smacked him on the head hard.

"I told you I could make Lily scream my name!" He yelled at Remus who was hiding behind his hand smothering the laughter threatening to erupt. James got smacked upside the head by Lily again. He fell off the couch, and found he couldn't really stand up.

"Gosh, you are so, DRUNK!" Lily laughed at him. James grinned cheekily at her.

"I'm not drunk! I am just so intoxicated by you! Lily, don't you know that you're toxic?" James grinned at her a bit before swaying around some more.

"Please. You aren't intoxicated by me. You are intoxicated by shit." Lily replied, James grin, If possible, managed to get bigger.

"Yea, that stuff to." Remus snorted loudly, even peter laughed at James.

"Sooo Lily…. Wanna go up to my room?" James waggled his eyebrows suggestively, and Lily found herself yet again, smacking him upside the head.

"Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?" She snapped at him. James held his hands over his heart.

"Ah Lily, my love, you wound me." He grinned coyly up at her, from his resting position with his head in her lap.

Sirius walked up to another girl at the makeshift bar in the common room. She drank her drink slowly, and appeared to be drifting away with thought.

"Hey, come on, we are both at this bar for the same reason, let's just get right to the point." Sirius said in a suave tone, suave as one can be when plastered beyond Hell.

"Yea! Come on! Let's go pick up some chicks! Be my wingman?" It was all Adiala could do to keep a straight face. Sirius's jaw hit the ground in surprise and shock. "Relax, I'm kidding. Nah, I'm not at this bar to get laid. Sorry. I am here to ponder life in a depressing fashion…." She mumbled off sadly, "Wanna join!" She gave him a big grin and became suddenly perky again.

"Sure." He grabbed his glass and held it up for a toast, "To drowning sorrows" She clinked her glass to his, and the brown haired girl met his eyes in the toast, hazel meeting grey.

"Aye, to drowning sorrows"

All the sorrows were to be drowned by tomorrow.

XO XOX XO XOXOOXOOXOX XOXOXOX XOXOX XOXOX XOXOXOXOX

Lucius smiled lamely at Narcissa, "Please, let me have your hand in marriage. I'd go through anything with you, my love." Narcissa couldn't help but grin at this statement.

"Good, go through your bank account, then through the door." Lucius grimaced, but sat down and wrote a wizarding check and emptied out his entire fortune right there. He handed her the check, then walked exited through the door.

To say Narcissa had been shocked, would be a gross understatement. She really didn't think Lucius was so serious about her.

"Lucius! Wait!" She yelled after him and relaxed when she heard his footsteps stop. "Take your check back. I will marry you." She thrust the check back into his hands.

He gave an audible sigh. "Good! I thought I was going to lose at least half of my account."

"Wait a minute! You only put half the bank on here?" Narcissa cried outraged.

"Well of course, it was only the Slytherin thing to do." He said with a smirk. Narcissa's anger disappeared right then.

"I believe I will enjoy marriage to you, dear." They both grinned stony, cold grins.

XOXOXO X XOXOXOXO XOXOXOX XOOXOXOX OXOXOXXO XOX

Sirius for the first time was happy. He didn't need his friends anymore. James would be a brother to him, but he was with Lily more, and Sirius found that it didn't really bother him that much. Remus and Peter were always good friends, never really needed Sirius. They always spent their time studying.

Apparently a man can survive on happiness alone.

Jill and Connor didn't bother him anymore; it was obvious they were meant for each other. While he and Jill would've worked well, it just wasn't the same. It was the difference between a cat and cat, and a cat and a catfish. Similar, but different.

Sirius just spent his time studying nowadays. He also spent a lot of his time building a secret magical motorbike. He'd decided that since he had more then enough money in investments and in inheritance, he'd just travel the world as long as Voldemort reigned. No need to get himself in a fight.

All he'd take would be his Magical muggle credit card, and the clothes on his back. He'd wander the world. He had plenty of times. After all, wizards and witches can live to be close to two hundred years old.

He was glad someone listened to his problems. It really helped him mentally. It didn't matter that they were both drunk out of their minds. It help get rid of woes. He will always be grateful to the girl who goes by Adiala.

He grinned as the lasso landed on the plastic bull head. He loved the Room of Requirement. How else would he be able to practice roping.

He really wanted to be a ranching gunslinger.

XOXOXOXOX XOXOOXOOX XOXOXOXOOX OXOXOXOX OXOOXOXOXOXO

Sirius was just wandering around the castle aimlessly. Of course, he happened to wander into the dungeons.

"Well, if it isn't the traitor Black." He heard a voice sneer. It was Regulus, and then he heard Bella cackling like the mad woman she is.

"Yes, it is I. What do you want Reggie?" Sirius asked quietly, just wanting to be left alone.

"We couldn't help but notice you haven't been hanging with your 'Gang' as much lately. What happened? Find them out to be the losing side?" Rookwood questioned.

"Nothing happened, I have just felt like being alone lately. I am sure you understand." Sirius answered rather diplomatically.

"What a bummer! And here I was thinking you were ready to own up to your heritage! You sicken me!" Bella sneered at him, then decided to spit on his face. Wiping a sleeve to his face, Sirius glared at her.

"I want no part in this war. I do not wish to be aligned with Dumbledore, nor Voldemort, nor the Auror Corps." Sirius pointed out, diplomatically, and truthfully.

"How do we know you aren't lying to protect yourself now?" Dolohov questioned, and Sirius hadn't any proof. Surprisingly, the person to jump to Sirius's defense was Snape.

"He isn't lying," Snape stated. Everyone nodded their heads and backed down.

"Is it alright if I speak with my brother privately for a moment?" Sirius asked the rest of the Jr. Death eaters. Regulus nodded his head, and they all left the corridor.

"While I wish you wouldn't join them, I'm not here to convince you to leave. I am here because I love you, and I think you will be the proper head of our house." Regulus gasped in surprise. "While I think you have no power to make your own decisions, you are a shrewd negotiator, and know a good investment when you see one. So, you can tell mom that you are the heir of the Blacks when you return home. All I ask is that I don't get dragged into this war, and I have an unlimited credit card."

Regulus looked his brother in the eye, and gave a short nod of respect.

"It's a deal brother, it is a deal." Regulus watched forlornly as his brother left. Sirius was right, as he always was. Voldemort was no fun to bow down to.

Regulus couldn't help but think that maybe, it wasn't too late for him.

XOXOXOXOXOXOX XOXOXOX OXOXOXO XOXOXOXOXOX

A few days later, found Sirius proudly standing over his bike. It was complete. He was of age. He had his card. He had no reason to stay in school, none but his friends. Wrapping the black bomber jacket around him tighter, he sat down to write a note to James.

_My dear brother, my dear friend,_

_It is time for me to leave. I have no reason stay at school. Maybe you will see me in a few years, maybe not. But I can guarantee I will always think of you when playing a prank on some one. You are the greatest friend one can ask for. I am just ready to move on. _

_Farewell my brother_

Sirius didn't see a need to sign it furthermore. So he just tied it to the owl's foot and sent it away. Then he hopped onto his bike and flew off to the America's.

Nobody had ever seen James Potter laugh so hard. Ever.

James thought it was the greatest thing Sirius had ever done.

XOXOXOXOXOX OXXOOXOX XOXOOXXO XXOXOX XOOX XXOX

Sirius jammed another post into the ground for Mr. Catarx then he Strung another row of fence. He enjoyed his cowhand job immensely. He really didn't have to think about the work he was doing as he did it. All he had to do was, do it. Of course, he often used magic to wipe the smug grins off the old cowhands who thought he'd be out working all night with some of the jobs they'd assigned him. But more oft then not, he was completely satisfied to work the Montana's ranch by muggle means. It was such a beautiful place.

Sirius couldn't help but think he was given the call of the wild. He loved nothing more then playing his new guitar under the starry western skies. He had decided that he'd change his name, cut his hair, and become like his role models Garth Brooks and George Strait.

He wanted to be a country music star.

Yes, Sirius did quite enjoy his wandering life, his ever changing careers.

In the weeks that had passed since his departure, Sirius found that he hadn't regretted his decision a bit.

XOXOXOXXOOXOX XOXOOXOXOXOXO XOXOXOXXOXOXOX XOXOXOXOXO

James and Remus had just charmed all the Jell-O to try to eat the people before the people ate the jelly, and it was quite hilarious. Everyone was screaming, but the three Marauders were laughing their tails off as the Jell-O was trying to eat them.

It was unspoken, but everyone knew that the moment was nice, but definitely not perfect.

They were missing their Padfoot.

XOXOX XOXOXOXXOXOX XOXOXOXOXOXX XOXOOXXOXOX OXOX

Runaway train, never going back  
Wrong way on a one-way track  
Seems like I should be getting somewhere  
Somehow I'm neither here nor there

Can you help me remember how to smile?  
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile  
How on earth did I get so jaded?  
Life's mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go  
I know what no one else knows  
Here I am just a-drownin' in the rain  
With a ticket for a runaway train

Runaway Train- Soul Asylum

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX XOXOXOXOX XOXOXOOXOXOXOX XOXOXOXOXOXO XOXOXOXOX

**Ha! Haha! I updated! Take that Miss Kayleigh! :P**


End file.
